I thought this was very sensible - My personal internalisation is always to default to thinking "If this isn't working what could I be doing better?" (even if (especially if?)) I'm deeply convinced the other person is somehow at fault.
Thank you Mark, what resonated with me is the not knowing another persons experiences is what then empowers you to ask about it and help both you and the person expand and better understand aspects of it together, asking questions to build descriptions and not give advice or assume to know how to fix the problem.
Thanks Mark, I enjoyed reading this and found the way you connected the ‘not knowing’ piece from the position of a manager and unpacked how to put this into operation really useful. I love the idea of taking small steps and adapting and embracing what happens rather than being locked into cycle of hoping.
Thank you for sharing Steve de Shazer's contribution to the SF approach. In my leadership relationships and connections are so important and yet in SF it's important to take the 'not knowing position, let go of assumptions and cooperate with colleagues through questioning to expand their experience. The reading has encouraged me to shift my thinking during conversations to 'ask what I can do for them, not what they can do for me'.
Thanks Faye. There is also a parallel here with the community building adage of 'if you see someone struggling, ask them to help you'. (Ie, don't ask if you can help them.) Interestingn perspective.
Valued your reflection, Mark. Mmmmm - the more you insist - the more they resist. I realise the benefit of recognising that it is my problem if someone resists - not theirs. I loved the gold nuggets in this approach - listen to understand and expand someone's world; connect with others with a mindset of curiosity and hope; stay the course with no judgement or assumptions; see every conversation as an opportunity to enhance one's sense of humanity and connection with each other - no matter the topic - through hopeful conversations.
I thought this was very sensible - My personal internalisation is always to default to thinking "If this isn't working what could I be doing better?" (even if (especially if?)) I'm deeply convinced the other person is somehow at fault.
Thank you Mark, what resonated with me is the not knowing another persons experiences is what then empowers you to ask about it and help both you and the person expand and better understand aspects of it together, asking questions to build descriptions and not give advice or assume to know how to fix the problem.
Thanks Mark, I enjoyed reading this and found the way you connected the ‘not knowing’ piece from the position of a manager and unpacked how to put this into operation really useful. I love the idea of taking small steps and adapting and embracing what happens rather than being locked into cycle of hoping.
Thanks Mandy. It's amazing how very small changes and steps can turn into new directions and ways to be.
Thank you for sharing Steve de Shazer's contribution to the SF approach. In my leadership relationships and connections are so important and yet in SF it's important to take the 'not knowing position, let go of assumptions and cooperate with colleagues through questioning to expand their experience. The reading has encouraged me to shift my thinking during conversations to 'ask what I can do for them, not what they can do for me'.
Thanks Faye. There is also a parallel here with the community building adage of 'if you see someone struggling, ask them to help you'. (Ie, don't ask if you can help them.) Interestingn perspective.
Valued your reflection, Mark. Mmmmm - the more you insist - the more they resist. I realise the benefit of recognising that it is my problem if someone resists - not theirs. I loved the gold nuggets in this approach - listen to understand and expand someone's world; connect with others with a mindset of curiosity and hope; stay the course with no judgement or assumptions; see every conversation as an opportunity to enhance one's sense of humanity and connection with each other - no matter the topic - through hopeful conversations.
Hi Maria, thanks. It certainly takes patience and generosity to use SF well.
Thank you for the excellent introduction to Steve de Shazer's thinking about the Death of Resistance, and its connection with leadership, Mark!